damm Im so mad thinkin bout this i can hardly tipe. the other day i get set up for some speardiving cause i needed a mess of fish for the fish fry for the charity poker run at the Thunder Inn for hank Teetum who got real messed up riding his harley down 41 an he aint got no insurance. well some guy i aint never met before send me a message sayin he read my speardivin reports and was lookin for a ride. sounded good at the time giddy up. since KArla wasnt able to go be the buubble whatcher on account she had to help out with her step Sister who was gettin herr cooter operated on i asked ole Stovepipe Johnson to come along.

stovepipe is a colred fella that works down at the shop. now hes an old cuss at rite about 70 but damm if he dont like to fish and feysty as hell too. he aint got probs with drinkin a few cold beers too now. he usualy does bank fishing at the lake for brims so anytime he can get off shore he jumps at the chance. now he dont speardive (he says us cracker are crazier than hell for gettin in that water) but hell if he wont sit their all day an catch grunts and mind the boat reel good while were spoeardivin
so we set off me an Stovepipe and the new guy i met here on the web site. this guys has all the matchin stuff and color cordinate and all new like he just buyed it at the shop yesterday. i figgered he is big time speardiver and we are going to put a whoopin on the fish for the big fish fry. we get to my secret honey hole throw the ancher and we jump inthe water to speardive.

weell my honey hole did me rite again. we speared the tar out of some gropers and mangoes and sheap-head. when we get back on the boat i see that Stovepipe is all ajitated and upset. whats wrong stovepipe i said

spanky spanky he says i thought i went into your bag to get a liter for my newport cigs but it was the other guys bag and look what i found.

he hands me a damm GPS from the new guys bag!!! the other guy get all mad and says that aint no GPS its an E-Purb. What the hell! I dont give a flying crap if your GPS is an E-Purb brand, or garmin, or damm Wal-Mart brand. A GPS is a gps a your tryin to steel my honey hole!! he trys to snatch it from my hand but i pull away and hit the button which makes it start beeping with a red lite. damm right its a gps. he tries to grab it again and this time i just fliped out. we start wrassling rite on the deck with all our speardiving gear on. now i rassled a liitle bit in high school but this guy was pretty big so we were goin at it like the wwe. all of a sudden the guy just falls over back wards passed out. i didnt no rite at that moment but damm if Stovepipe didnt grab a 5 pound box of frozen squid and knock the guy rite out from behind.

i wasnt going to have no sneak theif on my renken with his damm e-Purb gps beeping away so Stovepipe and i took some extra ancher line and tyed him up reel good wile he was still passed out and floated him behind the renken with his speardivin vest inflated so he wouldnt drown and tyed the other end to the transom. i started heding for shore cause i was so mad and was going to take him to the marine patrol. aint it illegal to steel your honey holes? i see that mayor of saint pete is a speardiver an he does reports here all the time. he has one of them gps detektors and knows if you bringing a gps dont mattre if it is e-Purb brand gps or whatever.

the new guy finally wakes up and start hollerin and screaming cause i am dragging him behind the boat but i pay him no mind. then i hear and see a helicopter coming my way. damm that cant be the marine patrol already? they pull up near top an its like a hurricane with the wind it blows the newport rite out of stovepipes mouth. they get on the radio asking what my dsitres is. I tell him thast my honey hole got stole!!! we went back an forth on the radio an they dropped one of them navy seal divers to grab the sneak theif i was dragging behind the Renken. long story short i got escorted hoome and now i am in big trouble with the coast gard. they even charge poor ole Stovepipe with aasualt on account of him using that frozen box of squid. he got so upset he had a mini stroke and had to get ambulanced at the dock. i did get to keep my mess of fish for the fish fry. they was good eatin.

i got me a 23 renken an i like to go speardivin all the time. dont be bringin no e-Purbs or gps cause now i have to check your speardivin bag at the dock to make sure. we split all expenses even cold beer and if your afraid of a little partyin then this aint the speardivn boat for you.

__________________
Team Southern Comfort:toa st:

count me in.Is the water warm or do I need to bring my overalls

Giggin,

This was your funiest post so far. Gut busting laughs here at the office.

the mayor of st. pete don't play

__________________
www.vestalwatch.com
www.theshadowconspiracy.com
professional internet spearo

Is this a true story, if so great work. If not good story anyway. what was new guys name?

__________________
STONE'EM ALL

I thought it was you

Lost a portion of my lunch on that one

Good stuff. Pass the pine cone licker this way.

__________________
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

I think it was "Brandon"

__________________
"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter, and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." A. Lincoln

That is some funny Sh**. that was my laugh for today.

OMG..my sides are splittin

__________________
Fred H. Shomer RIP 11/19/07

lmao! I almost just wet my pants I am laughing so hard!

__________________

__________________
"I'd rather live fifty years like a Tiger.....than a hundred years like a Chicken!".

TMI linz

VERY NICE! I needed that!

__________________
Is it time yet? Tables, we don't need no stinkin tables! Dive time.

"Stovepipe Johnson"........Now THATS hysterical

__________________
The least interested man in the world

__________________
Steve Moore 305 849 0866
steve@keysmobilediving.com
www.keysmobilediving.com

That was funny, I don't care who you are.

__________________

You cant get no better than ole Stovepipe....

I stayed late at work to read this

I bet it would hurt like a bitch to get hit with a box of squid. I know I've dropped one on my toes before and that sucked.